On donation and not blowing my horn

If there were a heaven or after life, I do not want to go to as I already cannot stand all the sorrows in this world esp. in the middle east and Africa. Hence, my donations are not a bargain with God (or your God).

There are many funny things about donation.

* I know some church goers' real reason of donation is buying a place in the eternal life. If you're poor, you cannot go to heaven, right? I believe in the new testament, but have a hard time on how they passed stories in old testament  when they had no paper and no language. My take and it will offend a lot of folks. It could be passed via oral language or partly written by God as evidenced by the secret codes in Bible that I watched in the History Channel.

* Every year we have disasters and a need to donate. I donated my small share in the promotion by American Idol. I did not see it in my credit card after a while. I donated again and it turned out I donated twice. Could be some one tell me that I did not donate enough.

* On one of my birthdays, I donated the difference between the bills from my expected restaurant and the cheap 99. Did not satisfy my stomach but my spirit and had sth to brag about here. 

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Jesus was absolutely correct that the rich had a hard time to go to heaven. However, today it could be different. For an example, which one of the following should go to heaven?

1. The rich man who got his wealth by studying and working hard. He does not donate a lot but pays his share of taxes and part of it is used to feed the poor.

2. The poor man who did not study and not work hard. He depends on government handouts.