My stupid name is Boris

I wrote the following after watching the closing ceremony of the Olympic. It is a satire but it is not too far away from the truth. We did have street sweepers from London holding jobs as high officials in Hong Kong - my late father could name names. Actually it was an upgrade when British government sent high crime prisoners as early settlers to Australia. Several folks from EU were very upset and you be the judge.

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Hi, my name is Boris

I’m the mayor of London. If I look familiar to you, it is because I was in the closing ceremony in the Beijing Olympic. I have a confession.

I had two dozens of the great Chinese beer and our famous opium before the ceremony (luckily they did not test me for drug). That’s why I looked like a happy child and the flag was so heavy to wave when it was passed to me.

I did not button my jacket, as it was too hot for my big belly. By the way, I picked up the jacket from the flea market. It is a little big, but the price is right.

If you found any grammatical mistake in this confession, it is because I just barely passed high school.

If you asked me why I am the mayor of London, you have to ask why my brother-in-law, a janitor in London, was the governor of Hong Kong.

How many Briton can make all Britons ugly and stupid in 8 minutes? I’m the only one and for that I should get a gold medal.