Saturday, November 14, 2009

How to save the airline industry

Bill just forwarded his idea of saving the airline industry. The picture of the good looking stewardess is included now so I need to make this blog PG17 or PG21 for Chinese.



Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell, they don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a ‘party atmosphere’ going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and ’special services.’

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right — a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn’t Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Bill Clinton


My reply to Bill is as follows:

Hi Bill,

We have started this service in ‘Virgin’ Airline - our logo is ‘Everyone can ride on a virgin’, or’ all our stewardess were virgins’.. There is a section for children and ladies (unless she is lesbian). The demonstration of sucking oxygen is breath-taking and every one pays attention. I stop dreaming what they do for first class service… :)

We also offer job opportunities for your former ‘assistants’. Lewinski and her look-alike will bring a lot of expertise to our airline.

We can double the profits by having a section for ladies and gays.

Your bright ideas always work. We respect your ‘Just Do it’ spirit. How many can change the defination of ’sex’ and ‘intern’ overnight?

Keep it up, Tony

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