I got a email from my congressman as follows:
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States’ Capital this Christmas Season. This isn’t for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation’s Capital. The Search for a Virgin continues. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.
Beg to differ. All congressmen including yourself are wise men if you compare your bank account before your term and after.
You can find a lot of virgins but you've to lower your age requirement or change the definition of a virgin. For definition, borrow the example from Clinton's no smoker policy: As long as you do not exhale, you're a non-smoker. Change the word 'exhale' with many words I can think of but they are not too polite to write them down here - just in case Sister Teresa is reading my blog.
It appears to be a fact that there are more mouths kissing asses than asses available to be kissed. Hence, we really have a short supply of asses.