Tony for President!

My plan to win the war without a single arrow is to send iPads, fast foods to our enemies. The children will be too fat and so dumb that they will have no desire and strength to fight us. I was nominated for a Nobel Prize and the president of the USA. I gracefully turn it down for the following reasons.

1. I'm too honest (stupid but honest). I'm not stupid enough to lie on the cherry tree when my father is holding an axe.
2. I'm too ugly (ugly but clean).
3. I'm too coward. I cannot do what Clinton do (Just do it) with the intern.
4. I have better taste than Clinton.
5. I'm not black enough like Obama. I'm yellow.
6. I was born in the wrong country.
7. I cannot speak and write good English.
8. I have no ambition except winning all arguments in Seeking Alpha.
9. I do not know how to steal money with my power as a president.
10. I do not know how to buy votes at the expense of our country. Legalizing 1 million illegals would gain me 1 million votes. Could be far more if they bring in the parents and grand parents for free welfare.
11. I do not know how to do something opposite to what I preach.
12. I do not want to lower my social standing as it is already low.

http://bit.ly/rVuXDo