Monday, October 31, 2011

A Nation of No Losers

* A Nation of No Losers *

We do not let you be a loser!
Your mistakes will be rewarded handsomely.

When you bought a mansion that you cannot afford, we're going to bail you out.
When you bought a clunker that you should not have, we give you $4,500.
When you bought any inefficient appliance or anything, we'll pay you no matter how old they are.
When you returned an old gun, we give you money for a better, updated gun so you can kill more.
When you lost your job, we extend your benefit.
When you cannot pay your college loan, we will give you amnesty.
When you ran out of money for Christmas gifts, we give you 2% payroll tax reduction.

When you do not have saving, we give you free health care.
When you have saving or a job, we take your health care away.
You die penniless, we help you out.
You die with millions, we share your wealth.

Teenagers, the more babies you have, the more benefits you have. Keep them coming.
Drunk drivers, no one will prosecute you as the entire jury and even the judge are drunk.
Rapists, you’re in good company of our politicians, coaches and clergymen who rape and cheat as a glorious sport.
Druggists, as long as you do not inhale, you’re still a no-loser.
Old ladies, your driver's license is also a license to kill.
Black kids, we give you special pass to go to college and jobs.
Congressmen, insider trading is legal to your privileged group.
Lobbyists, we can add import taxes on Chinese products that your industries cannot compete.
Prisoners, you will get the flu shots first and free dental care. If your local jails are full, we beg you to leave with free transportation.
Baby killers, we give you a movie/book deal to give you incentive to kill your next baby.
Altar boys, you could be the top 1%.
Fatsos, do not worry. Our up-coming drugs will melt all your fat while you sleep.
At the mean time, we double all seat sizes in buses, airplanes..., triple size the value meals and replace the slim actors with fatsos to make you look like a no-loser.

All athletes are rewarded with millions for taking drugs.
We’re outrageous on foreign athletes doing same.
It is an American invention and how dare you copy it without paying us royalty!

No other developed country lets their citizens own guns.
NRA and his puppet politicians will give you millions of funny 'reasons' like the only efficient way to control population.

When you cheated billions, you can retire in a resort-like 'prison'.
Also, the billions your wife hid is hers - no questions asked.

When your company fails, we bail it out.
The executives are rewarded with bailout money for bringing down a company.
When your company is failing, we give you half a billion – what a country!!!

The small catch.
We need your vote to re-elect us in 4 years.

The children cannot vote today, so let's pass our debts to them.
China does not have a voice here, so let's pass all the blames to them.

Even the entire world agree with us.
Our president was awarded the Nobel prize for doing nothing but reckless spending, so why you need to work hard and save?

I wonder why.

Even with insurance, I pay a lot for doctor visits while the poor get it free.

The well-dressed lady in front of the check-out-line bought expensive meat using food stamp that I could not afford.

The ‘disabled’ youngsters spend all their time fixing up their motor bikes.

My friend's late father-in-law could not afford to go to nursing home while the poor get it free, and he paid a million or so for his estate tax.

The above serves as a wakeup call/satire/joke and nothing more. It is written by the 'winner' who actually is a loser.

(c) TonyP4 2008-2012


  1. thanks for this one! I had fun reading this. I would be glad to share this to others!! This is a blog that should be read over and over again!!

  2. I've many good responses from this blog. It was written a while ago and I updated it recently with current events.

    Please do distribute it freely. My hope is I can change all the verbs to past tense. US is a great country with fixable problems.